


The Field Trip

by SeparatriX



Series: Because I Can Verse [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, Crack, Humor, M/M, One Shot, Parody, Romance, Squee, The Hex Files Monthly General Drabble Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-11
Updated: 2007-05-11
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8176316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeparatriX/pseuds/SeparatriX
Summary: May challenge:   Harry or Draco teaches Muggle Studies - including the phrase: 'That’s a rather disturbing moustache.'This is also a continuation of my story Because I Can.  You need not read it to understand this story, but it will make more sense if you do.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Hex Files](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Hex_Files), which was closed for financial and health reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Hex Files collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thehexfiles/profile).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Potterverse, JK Rowling does. Needless to say, I am receiving absolutely no financial gain by writing this story.

The Field Trip

 

**H &D H&D H&D**  


Draco was peering over Harry's shoulder, reading some of the lesson plans for his first-year Muggle Studies class.

'This really isn't one of your better ideas, Harry.'

It was typical of Harry, paying so much attention to all the small details that he lost sight of the possible consequences related to the overall plan.

'Hmm.' Harry paused and chewed on the end of his quill, then set the writing instrument back to parchment, scribbling out his thoughts at a furious pace. Draco grinned as his husband shoved a wayward lock of hair behind his ear, leaving a smear of ink on his temple. 

'Harry...'

Harry's hand rose up in the air, halting Draco before he could even get a word in. 'Almost done, Draco. The Headmistress asked for my lesson plans...' Harry took a deep breath and scribbled out a few more words before signing his name with a flourish at the bottom. He let out a relieved sigh and arched his back, stretching the tense muscles. Draco winced as he heard the vertebrae in Harry's back cracking.

'Really, Harry. I don't think it's wise to take a group of first-years on a field trip to...'

'Shhhhh.’ Harry silenced Draco with a kiss, placing his ink-stained hands on Draco’s cheeks and leaning his body against that of his husband. The lesson plans were forgotten as the two men became focused on the pleasure each was receiving from the kisses. When they finally broke apart for air, Harry gazed intently at Draco and broke into a wide grin.

‘What?’ Draco asked, panicking. ‘Does my breath smell bad?‘ He raised his palm in front of his nose and exhaled. Harry simply laughed and pulled Draco into the bedroom, standing them both in front of a mirror. 

_‘Oh my…You two haven’t looked so rough since the year of the T.W.I.T.T.! Is that ink on your faces…’_

Draco and Harry began laughing hysterically, for indeed, their faces were covered in ink. As they headed toward the shower, they could hear their ever faithful mirror whispering _‘Squee!’_

**H &D H&D H&D**

It was the evening of October 31st, and Harry was well into his first term as the Hogwarts Muggle Studies teacher. He had planned a field trip for his first-years, trick or treating in a Muggle area in England. He'd decided that Draco and some of their friends would help chaperone; not that Draco and their friends did not try to get out of it.

It was with great trepidation that Vince and Ginny Crabbe, Greg and Hermione Granger-Goyle, and Ron and Pansy Weasley joined Harry, Draco and 20 costumed first-years around an old Muggle tyre. Draco had already warned them that nothing good would come from this field trip, but Harry would not be swayed. The Portkey activated, and the whole lot of them went spinning to their destination.

When they landed, the first thing they noticed was that they were in the garden of a rather nondescript house, which was on a street with many other nondescript houses that looked exactly like it. Hermione’s eyes widened as she realized where they were, and she glanced over at Ron, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere than at that particular house. Pansy sensed the tension in her husband and wrapped a protective arm around his waist.

Harry began to speak. ‘This is a Muggle house. You will notice that it has a rather small garden, and that all of the houses in this neighbourhood look very much the same. It’s something Muggles call “pre-fab,” or pre-fabricated.’

‘Professor Potter?’

‘Yes, Miss Rospatin?’

‘What does _pre-fabicrated_ mean?’

‘Pre-fabricated…And it means that it was hastily built in pieces elsewhere and brought to this location in order to be assembled. It’s an inexpensive and quick way for Muggles to build houses, although the quality is not the best.’ The students all nodded, although most had no idea what Harry was talking about. They were just anxious to start the trick or treating.

‘Over here is a Muggle automobile. Harry pointed at a rather boxy looking bit of metal sitting in front of the little house. ‘Muggles use it to get from one place to another.’

‘Professor Potter?’

‘Yes, Miss Rospatin?’

‘Why don’t they Apparate, use a Portkey, or just use their brooms to get places?’

‘They are Muggles, Miss Rospatin. No magic.’ Harry was beginning to wonder if Draco had been right all along, that this field trip was a mistake. But they were here now, and there was no going back.

Suddenly something made a loud, rumbling noise. The students all screamed as a space began to open up in front of the automobile, and an eerie glow began to shine from underneath the widening gap.

‘I thought you said they didn’t have magic, Professor Potter!’ Giselle Rospatin shrieked and hid behind Draco. 

‘That’s not magic…’

‘MAGIC??' A loud voice roared. 'What a ridiculous idea! There is no such thing as magic! I suppose you snotty little toe rags are here to get some sweets?’ A very large, and very red-faced man had appeared from the magical gap in front of the automobile. ‘Petunia! PETUNIA!’ 

A skinny, horsey looking woman appeared by his side, and nervously petted his shoulder. ‘Yes, Vernon dear?’

The fat man stroked his mustache and eyed the large group of children, completely missing the presence of their Muggle Studies teacher in the crowd. ‘We‘re out of sweets, aren‘t we Pet?’ The horse-like woman followed his gaze, gasping at the number of children that had come trick or treating at their door.

‘Yes, right. We’re out of sweets, so you might as well go elsewhere.’ The woman dismissed them and sniffed the air, making a face like something smelled rotten. She was about to return inside the house when she saw him. 

‘You. You ungrateful, horrible little freak! How could you bring _your kind_ to our home, after all we did for you!’

Harry flinched. His students watched him, waiting to see what he would do. He bowed his head and took a deep breath. When he raised his head, his eyes were burning with emotion.

‘All you did for me?’ Harry laughed bitterly. ‘You did _nothing_ for me, Aunt Petunia. The day I was finally rid of you lot was one of the best days of my life.’ Harry looked over at Draco meaningfully. ‘I was simply bringing my students here to show them an example of the _worst_ of the Muggle world. Thank you for doing a brilliant job of it for me.’

Harry gathered up his students, making sure that all were accounted for, then headed back toward the Portkey. Before he could activate it, Giselle Rospatin broke free and ran back toward the house, where the Dursleys were standing with gobsmacked looks on their faces.

‘I just want you to know that your pre-fabicrated house is dreadful, and I would not be caught dead in your little tin automat…autmoba…autoTHING!’ Harry ran up began dragging her back to the Portkey. ‘And, and…That’s a rather disturbing moustache, mister. You look like a big old walrus!’ The Portkey activated , leaving behind a dumbstruck Vernon Dursley.

**H &D H&D H&D**

‘Did you see the look on his face, Rac? It was priceless!’ Harry was laughing so hard that tears were streaming from his eyes.

‘I did, love. That little girl has spunk; must take after her Aunt Fleur.’ Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and held him tightly. ‘But it was you that I was most proud of, Ry. You finally stood up to them.’ He smiled and brushed his cheek against Harry’s dark hair.

‘I did, didn’t I?'

Draco nodded solemnly. ‘It’s about time you put those demons to rest. Now kiss me and tell me that I was right all along about that Muggle field trip.’

Harry smiled and shook his head. No matter the outcome, Draco could still be counted on to be Draco, and Harry loved him all the more for it. He kissed his husband soundly. ‘You were right,’ Harry conceded. They walked to the bedroom and kissed again. 

‘I love you , Rac. More and more every day.’

‘Love you too, Ry.’

The mirror would have said _‘Squee,’_ but Draco had the presence of mind to non-verbally silence it. The mirror was quiet, and all was right in their world.


End file.
